Adventure Time: Season Five (Part One)

Television * Pendleton Ward * Candy-Colored Post-Apocalypse * 2012

I’m not really sure how TV production schedules work, and so I’m a bit mystified as to why season 5 is twice as long as previous seasons of the show. But it is, so I’m going to break this into two articles since who knows how long it will take me to write up 52 episodes. Especially considering that season 5 is Adventure Time at its very best. The sheer variety of episodes on display here make this a special season of television. We begin by wrapping up the darkest storyline to date, which also manages to provide depth and history to the world of Ooo. There are several episodes that explore characters and their role in the world. Some of these focus on adolescent Finn learning what it is to be in a relationship. Some of these focus on other aspects of life, from love and parenting to questions of power and responsibility. There are many which are just fun and just revel in sharp writing and whimsical animation. So with that preamble out of the way, let’s get into it.

“Finn the Human/Jake the Dog”

The Lich is bad news. He is evil manifest, and functions as a symbol of pure darkness in the world of Adventure Time. The season finale of season 4 saw The Lich murder Billy, Hero of Ooo and Finn’s role model, and tear open a hole in space/time in order to sow destruction and darkness across all possible universes. Season 5 picks up with Finn and Jake following The Lich to a mystical place inhabited by a mystical creature, Kumail Nanjiani. I mean Prismo. This timeless, magical goof grants The Lich’s wish to destroy all life, which sucks. Finn wastes no time trying to counter this wish by making one of his own. Finn wishes that The Lich never (I mean ever even) existed, which creates an alternate timeline. This new reality swallows our Finn whole and replaces him with a weird variant who has no inkling of the real Ooo. Meanwhile, in Prismo’s Time Room, Jake enjoys a sandwich. And relaxes in a spa while watching alternate Finn flounder in his horrible new reality. Obviously things end up okay in the end, but in the meantime we’re given some new pieces to fit in the puzzle that is the Land of Ooo, and the whole Adventure Time mythology, which is way more extensive than it has any right to be.

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This season starts with a slightly darker tone.

We also get some illumination on our principal characters, which makes sense considering the titles of the episodes. Finn is a person who will always try and do the right thing according to an internal, fairly rigid sense of personal morality. He tends towards selflessness and has a desire to protect the weak against the strong. That’s all well and good, but he’s also predisposed to rash decisions that don’t always work out. In this instance, Finn takes about three seconds to think about how to counter The Lich and ends up making things worse. This impulsiveness is indicative of a significant self-destructive streak buried in Finn’s character (something which comes up occasionally later in the series). Yes, Finn is a good person, but there is a darkness in him that sometimes works against his intentions. Jake, on the other hand, is all about shades of grey. He’s older, arguably wiser, and definitely more even-tempered than Finn. Unlike his human companion, Jake errs towards indecision. Whereas Finn jumps right in without looking, Jake is willing for life to just take its course. This also nearly leads to total disaster. Without Prismo’s guidance, all would have been lost because when it comes right down to a hard choice, Jake is rendered nearly helpless. Now for the sake of the series, Jake eventually gets it right. I would argue, however, that this is almost entirely due to Jake’s ability to befriend Prismo rather than any internal fortitude.

“All the Little People”

The two episodes that follow the heavier-than-usual premier swing hard in the other direction. There’s another graybles collection and an episode about a tree featuring a squirrel voiced by Marc Marron. They are light, fun episodes which are much needed after the previous Lich arc. After these, however, Adventure Time gets a little dark again. This is a pattern than weaves throughout this season, and the series hereafter. In “All the Little People,” Magic Man stealthily gives Finn a bag full of miniaturized versions of the inhabitants of Ooo. These little guys seem to respond to Finn’s influence, which he uses to create random hook-ups between characters. He then spends an unhealthy amount of time creating various romantic scenarios between his friends. Jake, and presumably the audience, thinks this is gross and unwholesome. Which it is. This is a rare instance of Finn indulging in his baser qualities, which in this instance surround his burgeoning sexuality. Puberty is rough, in case you’ve forgotten, and when you get down to it, Finn is still a gross teen trying to figure shit out. Eventually he does and makes things right again, but this is a nice reminder that our hero is still just a kid prone to mistakes.

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Tiny BMO is the best.

“Jake the Dad”

While Finn is just learning the basics of attraction, relationships, and sexuality, Jake is quite a bit older. He’s got a long-time girlfriend in Lady Rainacorn, and last season we learned that Lady was preggo. That storyline moved to the background (although her pregnancy was alluded to occasionally) until now, where Lady has her puppies (featuring two-thirds of the Belcher kids, which never ceases to amuse me). Jake, of course, is not really the responsible type. To his credit, though, he gives fatherhood a shot. Since he’s not used to adult responsibility he tries way too hard, and ends up doing a poor job of watching his new pups. As it happens, rainacorns age quickly so he doesn’t have to worry about fatherhood too much in the future. Unfortunately, Jake seems as ill-equipped to deal with his role as a father to adult offspring as he is with infants. This episode begins a character arc of sorts which examines Jake’s ability to be a father to his kids.

“Mystery Dungeon”

This is an episode that relies entirely on the ancillary cast of Adventure Time. Ice King is pretty much the only principal character we see here, and Finn and Jake are pretty much absent. Lemongrab, Tree Trunks, Shelby, and NEPTR are asked to carry the episode, and despite not being featured all that much throughout the series to this point, they manage to hold their own. They’re established enough at this point that we can enjoy the interplay between their personalities and enjoy Ice King’s absolute failure to understand any of these characters. The story itself is a silly dungeon crawl, but the focus on some minor characters makes for a nice change of pace. Also, the dungeon design is great, per usual.

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Your reminder that Lemongrab is horrifying and disgusting. You’re welcome!

“All Your Fault”

Well, if you didn’t realize this before, Lemongrab is goddamn horrifying. If you can set aside the abject horror of the Earldom of Lemons, this is an episode about Princess Bubblegum’s desire for everyone in her kingdom to be happy. Even if they’re creepy sociopaths bent on ruination. There’s not really much more to this episode other than a series of upsetting lemon imagery, however.

“Vault of Bones”

Finn and Flame Princess go on an adorable date, and Finn starts to realize that there’s more to relationships than burrito-hugs. Basically, Finn is excited to share his passion for exploring dungeons with his girlfriend. Ain’t no shame in that. FP goes along because she enjoys spending time with her boyfriend. Also cool. Turns out she’s not really into dungeons, though, in large part because Finn has a rigid exploration system in place. Eventually Finn gets it, and loosens up his approach. This episode is a nice vignette about two youngsters figuring out how to listen to each other. Also, as with most dungeon episodes, it’s really fun to look at. The background and creature designs are fantastic.

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Flame Princess’ look of utter boredom is perfect.

“Simon and Marcy”

It turns out that any episode featuring the Ice King and Marceline is going to be a punch right in the feel-basket. This one is definitely that, but it’s also an exciting look to the past, which so far the show hasn’t done much of. We take the Land of Ooo at face value, despite the constant reminders that we’re dealing with a post-apocalyptic world. A thousand years ago, there was a war so huge that it took a chunk out of the world and devastated what was left. Aside from that, details are light. This episode takes place in the immediate aftermath of this event (the Mushroom War, implying a nuclear event), and features a pre-Ice King Simon and a pre-vampire Marceline. At this point, Simon possesses the crown which will eventually claim his sanity, and Marcy is of course a (tiny) half-demon. We’re not told how they met, and the episode serves as a brief snapshot of their time together before Simon totally lost it. It’s all very touching. They journey through a burnt-out city filled with mutants, and they have only each other to rely on. Simon knows the risks in using the crown, but is still compelled to use it in order to protect his young charge, despite Marcy’s protests. It’s all very tragic, but the story is told well. Also, this is the first hint at Princess Bubblegum’s origins, which caused me no little excitement the first time I saw this episode. Also, Clambulance.

“A Glitch is a Glitch”

Starting with this episode, Adventure Time will occasionally hand over the entire operation to a guest writer/animator. These episodes are not canon, but are generally pretty fun. The idea is to create an episode that is (somewhat) true to the characters, humor, and spirit of the show while allowing a lot more freedom in both visual style and storytelling. These tend to be very silly.

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This episode has a look to it.


This is a reflective episode which finds Finn being a gross angsty teen. He’s all butt-hurt because Flame Princess didn’t laugh at a joke or something stupid like that and now he’s moping. This being Adventure Time, this leads him to fall into a strange alternate reality populated by pillow-people. Time works differently in this place, and Finn ends up marrying a nice pillow-girl and having some delightful pillow-children. Of course adult Finn (voiced by none other than Commander William Riker, and if I didn’t love this show before I sure as shit do now) is a goof, but still tries to find his way back to his original world. Eventually he realizes that he has everything he ever needed to be happy in pillow-land, and then he dies of old age, which zips him through the dimensions and deposits him back in Ooo, where it turns out that FP is really slow when it comes to getting jokes. It’s a strange, understated episode that still manages to be subtly profound.

“BMO Lost”

I don’t have too much to say about this, other than BMO episodes are generally quirky and charming and this is no exception. Also, sometimes BMO can be kind of a jerk. An adorable jerk, but a jerk nonetheless.


We’ve gotten to the point in the series where the creative force behind the show is itching to try new things. They are lucky that the show is popular enough to allow them some semblance of freedom, and so are we because Adventure Time is best when it’s trying new things. This episode isn’t quite the departure from the norm that later episodes will be, but it still manages to succeed in being funny and charming even without dialogue or voice acting. The story is entirely dependent on visual cues to convey its story and its humor, and it totally works. Granted, there’s a little writing and acting here, but the episode is called “Shh!” for a reason.

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“The Suitor”

This is a Princess Bubblegum episode, so of course I’m going to talk about it. The thing about PB at this point in the series is that she’s all business, all day. “The Suitor” is one of the first glimpses we get of the kind of life she leads, and of the sacrifice she makes for her people. Either she’s acting in her role as head of state, or she spends days in her lab trying to push technical progress for her people. There’s no time for much of anything else, least of all time to pursue personal relationships. Braco, Bubblegum’s would-be husband, keeps trying more and more absurd ways of wooing her, all of which fail. There’s a brief interlude with Finn, where he grapples with some residual feelings about PB before coming to understand that romancing the Princess is a huge waste of time. Eventually Bubblegum can’t deal with Braco’s suffering any longer, so she builds him a robot replica of herself, which is upsetting and weird.

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Peppermint Butler gets into some shady biz.

“One Last Job”

Jake has a shady past which we don’t know much about until now. Turns out he used to be a thief. Rather, he used to be a full-fledged crime boss (it’s that inner-Bender shining through) with his own gang of thieves. This is a heist episode in which Jake assembles his old crew in order to steal The Baker’s Shard in order to rescue his daughter, Jake Jr., who has been kidnapped. It’s fun to see Jake interact with his old pals (including Tiffany, who is Jake’s unhinged old best friend), but the key of the episode is Jake’s relationship with his children. In this instance, Jake Jr. has set everything up in order to make Jake proud of her. This is likely because when it comes down to it, Jake is a pretty negligent father. Which sucks, because as this episode demonstrates he does love his puppies, but then that’s a character flaw he (tries) to work on over the course of the series.

“Candy Streets”

So, what is Finn going to be when he grows up? The society of Ooo, and the Candy Kingdom in particular, is generally unclear. Technology seems to be advancing again, almost entirely due to the efforts of Princess Bubblegum, and the Candy Kingdom is clearly the center of the new world. It’s the seat of civilization, and as such it has a seedy side. This episode finds Finn and Jake acting as detectives attempting to solve a crime, which leads Finn to think about his future. Currently he’s an uneducated teen boy hero who roves around and stabs things with his sword. But surely that can’t last forever. During the investigation, Finn spends time thinking about his ambitions beyond his teenage years, and it seems like he’d make a good cop. He really should learn about things like due process, however. Mostly this is a fun episode with a great deal of silliness, but I do like that Finn thinks about more than just the immediate present. It’s one of the many things that gives the show its depth.

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This will never not make me laugh.

“Wizards Only, Fools”

We’ve arrived at the midpoint of season 5, and as it happens this is one of my favorite episodes. It doesn’t delve as deep into the characters as some others, and it’s not nearly as dark as the show can get, but as a stand-alone story it’s pretty great. Princess Bubblegum has a healthy contempt for magic and wizards. This may seem a little strange, considering Ooo is lousy with magic, but she is a scientist. This episode follows the Princess as she ventures into Wizard City, and the entire time she is railing against what she considers their total ignorance of science. Meanwhile, Finn and Jake and eventually Abracadaniel to tag along while PB tears a path through the wizarding community. Eventually she gets them thrown into wizard prison, and is forced to escape using magic. The irony is not entirely lost on Bubblegum, but neither does it fully convince her that she’s wrong. That’s the story, and it serves to shed some light on my favorite character’s personality. Yet the episode just shines as a whole. The writing, the pacing, the art, and the acting are all top tier. I should stop before I get entirely too shameless in my fawning.

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Princess Bubblegum has had it with your bullshit, guys.

In Which I Attempt to not Just Transcribe Entire Scripts

“Hey. Hey! Did you guys see that? You know that was a ghost wearing a dead guy? That might be the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen. N-n-n-n-n-nasty. Nasty jazz.” – Prismo, “Finn the Human”

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“Yeah, he wished for the extinction of all life and I did it. I guess it changed his timeline or something.” –Prismo, “Finn the Human”

“Uh, none of that is true cuz magic is fake. Daddy says the false prophets of old used cheap parlour tricks to control people, and to get babes. Like 10 or 12 hot babes each.” – Farmworld Finn, “Finn the Human”

“Bam! Crown shorts!” – Big Destiny, “Finn the Human”

“Hmm, feels natural. Like peeing outside.” – Farmworld Finn, “Finn the Human”

“Whoa, alternate wish world Finn is mad uglies. Dang! I’m mad uglies too! – Jake, “Jake the Dog”

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“Everything is nuts.” “Yes. Sometimes a well-intentioned wish can lead to… nuts.” – Jake and Prismo, “Jake the Dog”

“Dude, I get out of relationships because I don’t want to have a discussion about what we’re gonna have for dinner every night. Cuz when I’m alone, I can just sit on the couch til I’m hungry and eat whatever I want. It’s not like ‘what should we eat for breakfast? We should coordinate.’ That’s a pain.” “Man, your view of relationships is very bleak.” – Prismo and Jake, “Jake the Dog”

“Wait! Dude, look, I like you so you should know my wishes always got an ironic twist to them. It’s like a monkey’s paw kinda thing.” – Prismo, “Jake the Dog”

“Here, eat this egg. It’s brain food.” – Prismo, “Jake the Dog”

“No wait! That’s not what I wish for!” “Sorry guy, you only get one wish. Hey Jake. Did you see that? Monkey’s paw.” – The Lich and Prismo, “Jake the Dog”

“Guess the theme by the end of the episode and you’ll be the freshest mint-whistle. Now look to my visualizer screen and let this exciting grayble dribble all over your mind-label.” – Cuber, “Five More Short Graybles”

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Don’t worry, Marceline is still around, she’s just busy playing the most savory licks in Ooo.

“Wanna keep sticking our thumbs in stuff until it works?” “Yeah.” – Finn and Jake, “Five More Short Grabyles”

“But I don’t understand, BMO, I’m a real baby girl now. I can smell the raddest lilacs. I can hear the screaming squirrels, screaming for nuts.” – Football, “Five More Short Graybles”

“Woo! Where’s my dingus?” – Finn, “Up a Tree”

“Wrap it up good so I don’t trip and fall on my face like the last time.” – Regular Squirrel, “Up a Tree”

“Do you like it here?” “Yeah, well, yes and no. Do I like the nuts and acorns? Yes. Do I like it when they put me down and say mean things like ‘you’re not a flying squirrel. You’re just a regular squirrel. Nyeh!’ No. Do I want to fly away from this place now? Yes.” – Finn and Regular Squirrel, “Up a Tree”

“Okay, activate your squirrel flaps!” “Flaps? No, I just have regular squirrel arms.” – Finn and Regular Squirrel, “Up a Tree”

“I mean, if you feel something, you feel something. It’s not about personality matrixels and charts, it’s all about the buh-bumps in your heart. You can’t stop the pumps and bumps. Pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps!” – Jake, “All the Little People”

“Hey, what’s that on your pants?” “What!? Not again!” – Jake and Finn, “All the Little People”

“You stay up all night reading trash books? Told you man, those dating books… that stuff is mess you up.” “I’m not reading. I’m playing with the little wees.” – Jake and Finn, “All the Little People”

“I’m back! I got over all that messed up stuff you did.” – Jake, “All the Little People”

“Look at me, man, I’m staring into the shadow of my darkest mind-hole.” – Finn, “All the Little People”

“Aww. Oh! That’s a butt.” – Finn, “Jake the Dad”

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D’aww, puppies.

“We were just wrestling. Cool uncle wrestling.” – Finn, “Jake the Dad”

“Dad, the manual’s a bunch of junk!” – Louise Belcher, I mean Jake Jr., “Jake the Dad”

“Don’t let the dragon drag on, man.” – Jake, apparently high, “Davey”

“Ooh! Deal with me! Let’s play cops n’ robbers! Gimmie your bank account! Bang bang! Reach for the roof! And give me all your gold bricks.” – BMO, “Davey”

“BMO, how do I look?” “Like the devil!” – Finn and BMO, “Davey”

“Ice King, how do you taste?” “Uh, nice I guess.” “Mild or spicy?” “Kind of lonely.” “Make yourself into food now.” – Lemongrab and Ice King, “Mystery Dungeon”

“I can make an apple pie for all of us!” “Make them fast, serval.” “If you want a taste of my juicy apple pie, you better be nice. You got that?” “I am sorry. Make pies, slave.” – Tree Trunks and Lemongrab, “Mystery Dungeon”

“Yes. I’m getting a weird feeling in my stomach, and I think it’s because of you, Mr. Wizard. You better fess up to whatever you’re doing. I got no time for nobody dancin’ around and actin’ a fool at my expense. I’m Tree Trunks, and people know I’m kind and honest. That’s why people like me. So stop tellin’ fib bibs and give it straight.” – Tree Trunks, “Mystery Dungeon”

“Who in the world is sadder than the Ice King?” “Me. Watching this.” – Finn and Shelby, “Mystery Dungeon”

“There is no food. Only lemons. Lemons with bellies empty but for their lemon lusts.” – Lemonjon, “All Your Fault”

“Nope!” – Jake, summing up the entire episode, “All Your Fault”

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“Maybe the kidnapper’s there too. Coercing them.” “Probably the grossest one of all, too. Beet red skin, barf, poopin’ all its junk sculpture.” – Jake and Finn, “All Your Fault”

“Let’s get BMO to make us some sassages, maybe with that one mustard. I’ll use the sassage flare.” – Jake, “Little Dude”

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You don’t understand. I NEED one of these.

“Only good babies get sassages,” Finn, in his sage wisdom, “Little Dude”

“Evil magic donks, homie.” – Finn, “Little Dude”

“Whomever the hat possesses gains the proportional strength of a hat.” – Life Wizard, “Little Dude”

“Wild Berry, don’t lie. I know you like the silver foxes.” – Ice King, “Bad Little Boy”

“Oh my, looks like you almost skronked up my dome-piece.” – Prince Gumball, “Bad Little Boy”

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Cake Hat.

“Ow! My cheek-meats!” – Marshall Lee, “Bad Little Boy”

“Light this for me, would ya?” “Oh, sure… uh, do we need a torch? I’m sort of made of fire.” “Oh. Well, I guess torches are just cool for dungeons, you know?” “Oh, okay.” *long pause* “Yeah, I’d like to hang onto it.” – Finn and Flame Princess, “Vault of Bones”

“Okay, okay. I surrender.” “I shall grant thee clemency… if you do the splits. Do the splits!” “I… I can’t do the splits.” “Do the splits, thou milk-livered maggot pie!” – Finn and Skeleton, “Vault of Bones”

“Maybe next time we should just like, go to a farmer’s market.” “And burn it.” “Hmm.” – Finn and Flame Princess, “Vault of Bones”

“Where are you?” “Under the sea. The mermaids are trying to beach themselves. I came to see why. Turns out they’re just lonely. Ha ha!” – Finn and Princess Bubblegum, “The Great Birdman”

“He’s going to the reservoir.” Why is he doing that? Maybe he’s thirsty. Nah, I was wrong, he’s just sad.” – Jake, “The Great Birdman”

“You wanna watch a movie?” “Yeah!” *looks at VHS tape* “Man, this is a boring movie.” – Simon and Marcy, “Simon and Marcy”

“Good morning! I made you breakfast. It’s mostly pine needles and deer guts.” – Marcy, “Simon and Marcy”

*Smashes out window* “Vandalism is wrong, Marcy.” “Okay.” – Simon and Marcy, “Simon and Marcy”

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“Stop talking like a nerd and give it to us straight!” – Finn, “A Glitch is a Glitch”

“Don’t worry Princess, we’ll take care of this thing.” “Oh, me too.” *cocks gun* “I’m gonna take care of it too.” – Finn and Princess Bubblegum, “A Glitch is a Glitch”

“Oh man. Okay, here’s my dream-plan. You were wearing tights made of green feathers – these tiny green feathers. And I was this wise-cracking coelacanth that only ate popcorn. Anyway, we’re in this—“ “That plan’s not good!” “Hold on, I’m almost done. So, we were trapped inside this huge egg, and after a while you started dancing in this kind of sign language. And then Ice King’s glitch stuff started eating my dream up. I peed my pants, but you went up and talked to it. You just… talked to it.” – Jake and Finn, “A Glitch is a Glitch”

“Whoa baby, you taste different. You been playin’ basketball on someone else’s hockey rink?” – Jake’s arm, “A Glitch is a Glitch”

“Yeah right, BMO. More like she used up her laughs on some other guy’s jokes probably. Man, having a girlfriend is hard.” “No, being crazy is hard.” – Finn and Jake, “Puhoy”

“I think I just need some alone time. Got to let my mind fester a bit, you know? I’ll be back in a little while.” “Finn, festering’s always bad, man! There’s no good kind of festering!” – Finn and Jake, “Puhoy”

“Pillow sheep, you have more fluff than sense.” – Number One, “Puhoy”

“So, this is the pits.” “I hear that, friend. Do you mind if I wallow with you a bit? I’m a bubble.” “Okay. Nothing stopping a bubble.” “Sigh, that’s what they say.” – BMO and Bubble, “BMO Lost”

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Yay, BMO!

“Eat your potato, Ricky.” – BMO, “BMO Lost”

“I am sad, Bubble. I miss baby Ricky. I miss him so much already. And I miss Finn and I miss Jake. And I got dirt all up in my butt circuits.” – BMO, “BMO Lost”

“No. See, that’s what’s so great. Now we can be together forever, BMO, every minute of every day. No more privacy. No more quiet. No more alone. Every room you ever go in, I’ll already be there… waiting… forever and ever until the end of time.” “Yaaaay!” – Air and BMO, “BMO Lost”

“Bounce house! Come on, Jake! Bounce-boooucne!” “Oh, hi Finn!” “Oh my goodness. Sorry Bounce House Princess. I didn’t know it was you.” “Oh, that’s okay. You wanna go inside? Bounce around for a little?” – Finn and Bounce House Princess, “Princess Potluck”

“I’ve been going foot-nude in this shoe, and now I’ve got this turbo-huge callus.” – Finn, “Princess Potluck”

“They think their party is the bee’s knees. But it’s the knees of nothing.” – Ice King, “Princess Potluck”

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I kinda want a sea lard.

“Congrats, Finn. You won a sea lard. Here you go.” “Awesome.” “Ha ha, you won a sea lard. That donks.” – Princess Bubblegum, Finn, and Jake – “Princess Potluck”

“Oh, oh BMO/How’d you get so pregnant?/Who’s the mother?/Oh, who’s the father?/Shh, I’ll tell you/If you keep it a secret/We will we will we will/All right, last night an electric presence/Come into my room and said/BMO I need your perfect body/To host the incarnation of a baby!” – BMO, “James Baxter the Horse”

“Sheesh. Tough crowd.” “I think we should find an easier person to cheer up. It was a mistake to do this at a funeral.” – Jake and Finn, “James Baxter the Horse”

“Oh! I win! Ahh, you’re so disappointed.” – Finn, “Shh!”

“No, man. She won’t date these old bags.” “You must try. The Candy Kingdom worries for its leader, and it worries for you, Dark One.” “All right, you guys. All you guys are gross.” – Peppermint Butler and Gumball Guardian, “The Suitor”

“Princess, this lab reeks like brown mist! It’s unhealthy. You’ve got to get outside and do some research on boys!” “That is WAY out of line, Peps. And you guys are donking up my research. Hello! Donk! Donk!” – Peppermint Butler and Princess Bubblegum, “The Suitor”

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“I am peacocking you. To rally your attention.” – Broco, “The Suitor”

“Huh? Oh, that’s Braco. A suitor of mine.” “Oh. Cool. That’s cool. You’re dating…. That’s coooool.” – Princess Bubblegum and a very awkward Finn, “The Suitor”

“What’d you think of that Braco guy? I mean, he seems kind of weird and passive and baby lambish and too unheroic for Peebs.” *sees Braco behind him* “And then I smashed that peach!” – Finn, “The Suitor”

“That road you’re on… leads to nowhere.” – Finn giving hard-won advice, “The Suitor”

“There’s gonna be two hits, bro. Me hitting you, and a second instance of me hitting you.” – Party God, “The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita”

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Even land masses are sentient in Adventure Time.

“Take it easy, I just stomped grapes on her tummy, all right?” – Ice King, “The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita”

“Are we on the level, BMO?” “I ain’t no clown town snitch, baby.” – Jake and BMO, “One Last Job”

“You want to join my primitive noise band?” “No, I like organized sound.” – Finn and BMO, “One Last Job”

“What the funky fresh, girl?” – Jake, “One Last Job”

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Jake Jr. is pretty cool.

“Oh, sorry. It’s cool. I’m just thinking about the future, I guess. We’re on like the bleeding edge of history. Everything ahead of us is totally unknown and there’s no guarantee that things are going to be all right. It’s exciting, but it’s also pretty scary. You know?” “Heh heh… heh. Sounds like my little girl wanna build a time machine!” “Woooooooh!” – Jake Jr, Jake, and Finn, “Another Five More Short Graybles”

“Cinnamon Bun, you can’t sleep with a night light anymore. You’re basically 30. It’s starting to bum everyone out.” – Princess Bubblegum, “AFMSG.”

“I…need…soft…light!” – Cinnamon Bun, “AFMSG”

“Oooonly one!” – Lemongrab horrorshow, “AFMSG”

“Look at my bugs. I always did have the ugliest bugs. What are they doing? Selling each other houses?” – Rural Fox, “AFMSG”

“Now that you mention it, there was this one guy in here earlier. Real suspicious type. Had a nose bleed. Said it was the first one he had in years. Used to get them all the time as a kid, he said. Could never remember if he was supposed to pinch his nose and hold his head back, or pinch his nose and hold his head forward. Maybe it was a case of being boxed on the nose too many times – made the blood vessels in his lower septum weak and vulnerable to hemorrhaging. Anyway, his mammy always said it was because he could never keep his all his picky little fingers out of his dirty little nose-holes.” Ann the pharmacist, “Candy Streets”

“Burgle our friend and it’s the end… for yoooou.” – Jake, “Candy Streets”

“Turns out the only case here is another case of LSP being nutty.” – Jake, “Candy Streets”

“Look, I’m a nurse and all, but my uncle is a magic worker, and he cured my sadness about my marriage.” – Nurse Poundcake, “Wizards Only, Fools”

“Is that a real spell?” “No, I’m making fun of spells.” “Princess, you’re being really disrespectful of my beliefs.” – Starchy and Princess Bubblegum, “Wizards Only, Fools”

“Have you been to Wizard City?” “Nope. Wizards only.” “Wizards don’t play.” “Trespassers get killed mad quick, like zap-zap.” “Well then what?” “Let’s stay home just kidding.” – Princess Bubblegum, Finn, Jake – “Wizards Only, Fools”

“Look at these dopes. Half of these spells are all working on entanglement principals.” “Entanglement IS a spell where you get trapped in tree roots and sometimes they spike out and hook your flesh and you got to be like ‘my body is clay, my spirit feels no pain.’ Then you chop your way out and kill the wizard!” “That’s not what I meant, but whatevs.” – Princess Bubblegum and Finn, “Wizards Only, Fools”

“All right, bros. Ronny James got mad spells for wizards of all EXP’s.” – Ron James, “Wizards Only, Fools”

“What’s the magic made out of, ding-dong?” – Princess Bubblegum, “Wizards Only, Fools”

“Hey Jake.” “What?” “Is PB straight up naked right now?” “Dude, don’t make me feel more awkward than I already do.” – Finn and Jake, “Wizards Only, Fools”

“I got traumatized by those underpanties.” – Finn, “Wizards Only, Fools”

Jump to the rest of the series: Season 1; Season 2; Season 3; Season 4; Season 5 (Part Two); Season 6 (Part One)

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